Happy Halloween!

 Viper Pilot Captain Kara "Starbuck" Thrace, Battlestars Galatica and Pegasus. And a pirate.

Weird Bible Verses Part 2

"Eat, drink, and be merry."

This one really is in the Bible, actually in two places. It can be found in Isaiah 22:13 AND in Ecclesiastes 8:15. Yet this is one that is almost always taken out of context. Nowadays we often use sarcasm, saying something that we do not mean and our tone indicates that others should not take our words at face value. Sarcasm is not used in the Bible, but that doesn't mean that everything written there literally means what it says. The Virgin Birth of Jesus is to be taken literally. A dragon with ten heads is to be taken figuratively.

Once we read the entire chapters around each instance of "eat, drink, and be merry" we can see that this phrase is not written as advice to be followed. Rather, it is given as a way of throwing in the towel, of despairing and being hopeless. How do I know this? Check it out:

In the Isaiah passage read verses 13-21. The people talked about here are in deep trouble: something bad is coming. They have wealth, power, and position; yet there is a sin present, a debt owed so to speak, and the punishment for it is imminent. They know they will be in mourning (hence the talk of sackcloth and bald heads: they shave them in mourning). Knowing their city is about to be sacked they are desperate, hysterical. So they pull out the Biblical version of YOLO. They agree to do stupid, meaningless things, because they think death is the end. They forget the promises of life forever.

Obviously the book of Isaiah is in the Old Testament. Pre-Jesus Christ's atonement for everyone's sins, they don't have a Savior but instead try to fulfill all the Law as their part of keeping the covenant between God and themselves (Israel).

In the Ecclesiastes passage look at verses 14-16. Here the author flat-out admits that they had given up so they might as well party. Life is futile says the author, even good people have to suffer the misdeeds of the evil, so it is recommendation to those people that they might as well just party.

Yet this isn't true, the bad things in this life are actually fleeting because if we repent of our sins and believe that Jesus Christ died for all of our sins, we can have a second life that lasts forever. And in that one there won't be any bad things or evil misdeeds that others do that hurt us.

Autism and IEPs

10 most ridiculous things heard in IEP meetings and the truth behind the fiction... (taken from a Special Education Facebook page, written by Megan Dero Halter).

Ridiculous Statement #1
Your child’s emotional disturbance is interfering with her academic performance so she doesn’t qualify for an IEP.

Fact: There are 13 disability categories under IDEA. In order to qualify for an IEP you must meet the definition of one of the 13 categories and by reason thereof NEED special education and related services. One of the 13 disability categories is emotional disturbance and if that disability is interfering with the child’s ability to access the curriculum then by definition she has a need for an IEP.

Ridiculous Statement #2
This is a Magnet School we don’t do IEP’s here.

Fact: All public schools are required, by law, to provide children with a disability a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). Since magnet schools are public schools they are required to execute IEP’s for those children that require special education. This would also go for advanced study schools and charter schools.

Ridiculous Statement #3
We don’t perform Functional Behavior Assessments (FBA) or write Behavior Support Plans (BSP) for Children exhibiting off-task behavior. FBA’s are only for kids that are not nice.

Fact: IDEA requires the IEP Team to consider five special factors when writing an IEP. One of those five special factors is behavior. It states: (i) In the case of a child whose behavior impedes the child’s learning or that of others, consider the use of positive behavioral interventions and supports, and other strategies, to address that behavior. Behavior that impedes learning comes in many forms and does not always manifest itself in violent outbursts. Off-task behavior can and does impede learning.

Ridiculous Statement #4
Maybe your daughter’s behavior issues are being caused by you telling her she has autism and she is emulating how she thinks someone with autism should act. I suggest not talking with her so much about her autism.

Fact: Wow, I’m still amazed at this one and I’m not sure where to start. Let’s focus on the fact that they are blaming the parent for the child’s behavior in school. If the School really believes the IEP isn’t working because of the parent they are required to provide training to the parent via the related service, parent training and counseling. In my opinion, the School needs the training not the parent but let’s move on.

Ridiculous Statement #5
We can’t test your child for an IEP until we have first tried Response to Intervention.

Fact: This ridiculous statement was used by so many School Districts that on January 21, 2011 the United States Department of Education Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services issued a memo reminding School Districts that Response to Intervention cannot be used to delay-deny an evaluation for eligibility under IDEA. You can download the memo here: OSERS Memo on RTI Office of Special Education

Ridiculous Statement #6
Your child will be graduating at the end of the month whether you like it or not.
Fact: Graduation with a diploma is considered a change of placement under an IEP. Any change of placement triggers extensive due process rights. If the parents disagree with their child (who has not reached the age of majority) graduating they can stop it by filing for due process. This would trigger a Stay Put. Stay Put means there can be no change of placement or reduction of services while the disagreement is being worked out.

Ridiculous Statement #7
I won’t let you add your comments to the parental concerns section of the IEP form because the IEP is a School document and I disagree with your description of the events that occurred.

Fact: This question has been responded to in the United States Federal Register where it was said, “Parents are free to provide input into their child’s IEP through a written report if they so choose.”

Ridiculous Statement #8
I spoke to my supervisor at the School District and she has authorized me to offer you one hour of speech therapy a week.

Fact: IDEA specifically says that all decisions regarding an IEP need to be decided in an IEP Team meeting. If a faceless supervisor is making the decision regarding the IEP outside of the team meeting then this is called predetermination. That supervisor would need to join the IEP Team and discuss her recommendations with the Team before any decisions could be made.

Ridiculous Statement #9
I agree she needs a full-time aide but I don’t have the authority to authorize that.

Fact: IDEA requires every IEP Team to have a District Representative that is knowledgeable about the District’s curriculum and resources that has the authority to bind the District.

Ridiculous Statement #10
Your child is too smart to have an IEP.

Fact: Intelligence has no bearing on disability or need. Even individuals with genius level IQs can have a disability that affects their ability to access the curriculum.

Just Because

A friend was cleaning his gun a

Bucket List Update

So I've crossed off only two more items on my bucket list. One was highlights in my hair. I actually chose copper red lowlights, and it seriously took 4 hours at the salon to do this because I didn't know to go with clean, dry hair and my long curly locks took the poor guy a solid thirty minutes to untangle my hair and he had to do this before and then after the dye. It also took like 45 minutes to blow-dry my hair. 

The other thing was that yesterday I shot a 9mm and a 22 rifle at an outdoor range. I also shot a 40mm but it had so much kick that the grip pattern was painful. The rifle was awesome, and here is a photo of me shooting it. It was fun and I hope to go again!

Weird Bible Verses Explained

So there is a lot of weird Bible verses and this post is to just start tackling some of them. First up is:

"It is better to plant thy seed in the belly of a whore than to be cast upon the ground."
Supposedly this verse is where in the Bible we learn that masturbation is not okay. However, this is NOT in the Bible! People say it's based on Onan refusing to fulfill the levirate, spilling his seed on the ground instead of in Tamar as he was supposed to do.
First, Tamar is not a whore. Onan was supposed to get his sister-in-law, the wife of his dead brother, pregnant so that she would have a child to care for her as she age and an heir for her late husband. Look up levirate here http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/Halitza.html to read about this Jewish practice.
Second, the Bible does not actually condone the world's oldest profession. It was around because of the pagan societies around Israel, and sometimes the even good guys sampled it (which was a sin on their part). Everybody sins. Saying that someone sinned is not the Bible's version of encouraging that thing. The Bible says this about prostitution (which is fornication and/or adultery) 
     1 Corinthians 6:13 (New Testament book) - Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.
    Deuteronomy 23:17 (Old Testament book)- There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.
There are other verses but I'm sure you get the point.

"Money is the root of all evil."
Here we have a twisted version of 1 Timothy 6:10 that changes the meaning of the verse. The ACTUAL verse is "Love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." Loving money can lead to preferring it over anyone or anything else. We tend to sacrifice relationships, time, and peace of mind for money. Married couples usually argue about money. Children fight for inheritance. We can gamble and lose so much money that we lose a car or house or college/retirement funds. We can become addicted to substances we don't need and obsess with making or stealing the money to get those substances.
Yet money can be used for good. We donate money to help feed folks who can't afford enough food for themselves. We donate money for education, disease research, for housing. Money supports foster children.
So go ahead and have money and spend it, just don't prefer money over anything else.
    

A Weekend with Autism

This is for those of you wondering what daily life is like with an autistic child. My son is 4 1/2 and he is average on the autism spectrum.

Friday evening: He is home from his half-day at preschool. I ask him how his day was and he doesn't answer. This is common. He's often able to ignore people talking to him and even calling his name frantically. My son is super smart, but spotty on whether or not he will do things for you. He's known uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, colors, and shapes since he was 18 months old. He identified a pentagon for his teachers. While other kids would learn to sloppily write their first name, he spelled out his full name in magnetic letters. My Mother's Day card from him consisted of a paper vase glued to a paper that was blank and a note "Sorry, he wouldn't put his fingers in the paint to make your flowers. LOL :)" I actually love the card, I know he won't fingerpaint. He gets speech therapy twice a week; before that he didn't really talk. So he never said "I love you" to me until he was 3. I cried when he said it. He sings along with songs he knows and parrots and says some things of his own now. He will also start occupational therapy. Sometimes he pushes other kids and he gets a time-out. But he usually won't sit in time-out. It's hard to discipline him whenever he's in his own world. He tells me he wants to paint, but he really wants to play with the paint using the brushes and then watch me paint.

6pm. The witching hour. That's what it's called, the time dinner is being made and kids are prepped for bed, because kids tend to be very tired but magically find a second wind. My son is no exception. If I stand at the sink, he is laying on the floor holding onto both of my ankles, nearly tripping me. I step back from the stove to nearly step on one of his many trucks. Pretty much no matter what I cook for dinner, my son will not eat it (even spaghetti, which he likes). He will usually eat a crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut into 1-inch cubes or chicken nuggets. Side dishes he will eat include most types of fruit, fries, some potato chips or most types of crackers, and he always has whole milk. He does not drink any soda, I call pop "an adult beverage" (same with coffee drinks). Sometimes he plays with my food, feeding me forkfuls. I'm glad for multi-vitamins. Many kids will eat eggs, mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese. My son refuses to eat any of those things.
He gets ready for bed with lots of help. He can put his arms into his pajama shirt once I put it over his head, and he can pull up his pajama pants, but sometimes he simply refuses. He doesn't like to brush his teeth, but he will put his stepstool away and rinse and put up his toothbrush. He still is not potty trained (that is another blog post) despite working on it. He has zero interest. Peer pressure is basically meaningless to him. The upside here is that the taunts of another child are also meaningless to him.
His bedtime routine MUST be the same, pajamas, then brush teeth, then look at his African animal lightbox, then a series of shadow puppets, then a prayer that he has memorized. I took 3 nights to transition him from his crib to his toddler bed. I slept on the floor outside his room those nights. He loved his crib, he never climbed out of it, but he was destroying it by jumping in it. He received a kids' indoor trampoline and jumped his heart out on it. After 4 months the bungee cord broke. The next cord only lasted 4 months. So now he has an exercise trampoline for adults (holds up to 225 pounds versus 75 pounds for the kids' trampolines). He used to wake up around 1am. Usually he'd just talk to himself and then fall asleep after about half an hour. The first year of his life was awful, I have never been so consistently tired in all my life. Kids with autism are notorious for awful sleeping habits/patterns and they struggle to sleep normally. Usually melatonin is used with a pediatrician's approval (not every night).


Saturday morning: He prefers breakfast foods, so he will also eat a pancake and some ham, yogurt with granola, many cereals with milk, oatmeal. The problem is that he doesn't say exactly what he's in the mood for. If he wants yogurt with granola, he won't tell me--he will bring me a carton of yogurt and say "do you want yogurt with granola?" so that I repeat him. I ask him if he wants yogurt with granola and he says "okay!" He says okay instead of yes. Recently he has started saying "nokay" and I don't know whether that's maybe, yes, or no.

We go to the mall. Park in the same area, always have to take the stroller in the mall or else he just runs away. I have a couple of Autism Awareness shirts and I like to wear those in public places full of strangers. We go in and he is allowed to get out at the Lego store. For lunch he wants Chick-Fil-A. Now he will answer me as to whether he wants fries or fruit, milk or juice with his kids' meal. That's a big step up from ignoring my questions and getting upset later! My time in any store is dictated by how loud he is; if he gets into a screaming mood (not upset/angry, just being loud) we have to cut the trip short. We always have to stop at the play area for kids. He takes his shoes and socks off and methodically tucks one sock into each shoe and places them in a cubby before playing. I have to really watch him as he gets bigger because he is so much stronger than the babies who've just learned to walk and I don't want him pushing them or walking on them. He gave me a concussion a year and a half ago, but we were sort of wrestling around on the floor at home.

In the car on the way home he randomly shrieks or makes loud trills. He wants to listen to his music, but he screams and whines, so I turn the radio on. He continues to scream and whine. He used to fall asleep in the car when he was younger but most of the time he doesn't now. I was very impressed that he was okay when I switched him from his carseat to his booster seat in the car. Normally that kind of change leads to a few days of protesting and fit throwing. We'll see how he is when he outgrows his current pair of shoes and I put bigger ones on him. I like to buy secondhand shoes for him because they're already broken in. He doesn't wear dress shoes, snow boots, sandals, rain boots, sneakers, and such like other kids. He will only wear one pair. He doesn't like hooded sweatshirts, layered shirts, pants with netting inside (like many athletic pants have), the transition between seasons when he starts or stops wearing shorts or short sleeves, and he must have his jacket/coat zipped every time he wears it or he gets upset. He doesn't put his clothes on by himself, but he can take everything off by himself.

Sunday: He's barefoot as soon as we get inside the church. He won't go into the sanctuary for more than a few minutes, and he's running the aisles for that. He covers his ears because of the music being too loud for him (it's not loud, this church doesn't have drums and a band nor do they crank up the microphones). He stays in the nursery for the entire service. If a church service does not offer nursery, I can't go to the service. The folks at this church are loving and accepting of my son, and I am grateful for this. One woman watches him at her house during church choir practice so that I can sing in the choir (I love to sing :) )

We're invited out to eat for brunch after church. We insist on going at less-busy times so he's easier to spot when he gets away from the table and runs. We take books and the iPad and cars and trucks to occupy him but it rarely worked. One trick is to know what we want and order as soon as the waitress first comes. Sometimes he will have a meltdown and we have to box up our food and leave partway through the meal if distracting him is NOT working. I've gotten good at reading him and I can tell when he's more likely to be mellow and when he's gonna have a cow over things. His mood determines what we try to do. If he doesn't want to do it then it's an exhausting event. Imagine a baby who can just walk and the fits they throw. Now imagine they're 41 pounds, 3'7", and solid muscle. I've left stores without getting what I came for because he wouldn't cooperate.

He is improving. He can tell when I'm sad. If I cry he will say repeatedly "hi mommy" until I stop crying (he does this when I watch You've Got Mail and such). We've made it through different phases, such as biting holes in his shirts, refusing to keep his shoes and socks on, refusing to sleep in his toddler bed, refusing to sleep alone, and so on. We're working on potty-training and nail-biting and dressing himself, and sitting still for meals and library programs.

My son has autism. He's so much more than the autism, he has a sense of humor, he has likes and dislikes and favorite things. He's super handsome (it's no wonder a girl in his class likes him) and fun. I don't really compare him to other kids--I just celebrate every milestone that he passes when he does it. Some things he's behind, others he's way ahead.

We just do things a bit differently.

Guns

I know, this blog is girly in appearance: flowers, the title is a reference to a hair problem, picture is me in pink flowery shoes. But those of us who love the color pink and girly things are also interested in guns and whether or not Americans have the right to own them.

So in 2013 thus far there have been at least four shootings.

What else is dangerous? Planes can be: if one goes down, the odds are bad. Cars are weapons that weigh a few tons and yet they are everywhere. People can easily be run down; motorcycles get hit when cars change lanes without looking. Alcohol is dangerous too. Too many people are alcoholics, they just don't drink in moderation. People drink enough to impair their judgement and increase their reaction time and then try to drive somewhere. Fast food is dangerous. I can go down the street and buy double cheeseburgers for about a buck apiece but organic vegetables always cost more. Lean beef is much more expensive.

Oh, wait a minute! These things can all be okay too! I can't eat fast food several times a week without paying the price. I can't drive like a nut without paying the price; I also cannot be oblivious while driving. No texting, talking on my phone, iPod using, or ignoring my mirrors and anything else on or near the road. I drink maybe 3 drinks a year, and not in the same evening. And I've been invited to go shooting. I plan on going. Yes, a gun. No, I can't guarantee my shooting earmuffs will be pink.

But let's look at the media--you don't hear about the thousands of flights that arrive safely every single day. Shooters are named, their picture is flashed repeatedly, and they are analyzed in the media. We don't ban airplanes. A woman is raped every four minutes; we're not going around castrating men (frankly, some shouldn't feel safe just yet). Pilots undergo training. Cars are to be driven by licensed drivers. Alcohol can be purchased if you're over 21, and a bartender can cut you off and call you a cab to get you home, or somewhere else at least, safely.

So there's a waiting period to purchase a gun. The Sandy Hook shooter couldn't buy a gun because of the waiting period. Victory! But he did kill his mom and steal her guns. Hmm...maybe gun owners should be required to present proof of ownership of a gun safe. I like the idea of a combination + key safe. Preferably, the safe should be crazy heavy and/or attached to the house. People get carjacked, yet we're not banning cars. So we shouldn't be banning guns because they too can be stolen. But seriously people, precautions. You drive around with your doors locked and you get a safe for your gun(s).

The idea of banning guns, except for law enforcement, is frequently met with dripping sarcasm and references to Nazi Germany. During Prohibition in this country alcohol could easily be found. Heroin and many other substances are illegal. Yet they are easily found here. If I were the gambling type I'd say banning guns would keep them away from the likes of you and me, while criminals access them and fire at will.

So new regulations. Such as my brilliant idea of proof-of-ownership of a gun safe to purchase a gun. People with any sort of psychological past should be flagged, with a longer waiting period. There's a an argument about this too, saying it's a violation of privacy to have a note next to your name reading something along the lines of "might be psycho and go on a shooting spree". So what if no reason is given? If you have crummy eyesight you don't get to buy a gun. If you are on certain medications you don't get to buy a gun. If you have a violent past, even if you are not currently under the care of a psychiatrist, you don't get to buy a gun. I don't want people to avoid therapy so they can buy a gun, so a history of violence matters. Otherwise a woman trying to get out of an abusive relationship goes into therapy for support and then cannot purchase a gun just because she is in therapy. That would be stupid.

We have the right to bear arms in this country. We also have the responsibility to know how to use guns and when to use guns. Some people blame violent video games for gun violence. Correlation does not imply causation, such that violent people are attracted to violent video games. Otherwise parents would push 'nerdy' games and movies on their children to 'make' them into nerds. No, nerds are attracted to Lord of the Rings and sci-fi on our own. But we become desensitized to violence.

What about soldiers who have killed? How do they feel after killing another person? Most of the time they feel some sort of remorse. Do killers feel remorse? It's hard to tell, a gunman tends to turn the gun on himself or die in a shootout with police. The soldiers (and cops too) know that a person has died because of them. Killers see stereotypes or labels dying, not people. We have the right of free speech, but not hate speech. Why do we perpetuate rumors and myths and stereotypes??? Look at the suicides because of bullying: these people die rather than face hatred.

We have the right of disagreeing with others. If my candidate wins and my friend's candidate loses an election, then we're free to disagree. Are we free to discuss issues, even arguing? Yup. Are we free to hate each other? Oh heck no. I hate asparagus. But I will eat it to be polite if it's given to me. I disagree with drug users. I will talk to them just like they're people, because they too are people.

We have loads of ways to talk to people instantly these days. Yet we're saying less than ever. "LOL" has very little substance. "OMG wat's wrong???" has only a little more. We've learned how to open the channels but not to maintain them. We have so many emotions but we don't identify them or their source. We fear confrontation and avoid it until we blow up. We must teach "I feel angry when you ______." We let issues fester and simmer and cook until they come to a full boil. Instead of banning guns, let's promote real communication.

A Late Farewell to 2012

So here are highlights of 2012 for me. Saving the best for last!

1. My birthday dinner was at The Melting Pot and I put the entire slice of cheesecake into the bananas foster fondue.

2. I started a youth group at church.

3. I got a job as a substitute teacher.

4. I went on a mini vacation to Washington DC and got to see lots of history.

5. I made a bucket list and marked a few things off of it already.

6. I got to see Arizona family again (first time in a decade!).

7. Went to Youth Rally for the first time.

8. Broke a stained glass window.

9. Sang a solo in church.

10. Got an iced tea maker.

11. My son was diagnosed with autism....but he started speech therapy and is finally verbal.

12. Heard my beautiful son say "I love you mommy"!!!!!!!!!!