Wedding Gifts

This is something I've thought about that is making the generation gap more apparent.

So a new trend that really drives the older generations mad is asking for money as a wedding gift. This is in lieu of material goods for a household, and generally this happens because a couple has been cohabiting or the couple is simply a little older and together they have everything they need for a household already.

The couple doesn't really need dishes, a blender, and 500 thread-count Egyptian Cotton sheets to begin their life of wedded bliss. So they don't do what's been standard for a least a few decades and create a registry full of things they don't need.

Etiquette says one doesn't include where one is registered within the actual wedding invitation (I personally find the great big formal invites an incredible waste of paper what with multiple envelopes, etc.), but rather you rely on word-of-mouth and the bridesmaids, mother of the bride, and so forth to make the couple's wishes known. Some people even think a registry is rude, as requesting specific items makes one greedy apparently. Really, you can buy someone whatever you want to buy them for a wedding gift, it doesn't matter whether you stick to the registry or wander a bit. You might buy them a nicer version of what they registered for and I'm sure they'd happily accept. A registry also helps guests figure out what kinds of gifts have already been purchased (assuming they all use the registry correctly), thus steering their purchase decision.

But back to the point: what about asking for money, such as for a honeymoon or a down payment on a house? I'm young, but I don't think this is rude so long as it is not done within the wedding invitation itself.    I think people have a right to prefer one thing over another. A guest's taste is not always close to what the newlyweds would choose. Of course they can make do, but don't you enjoy giving someone something they truly like?

In many cultures, money is the wedding gift of choice. Chinese weddings involve a red bridal gown and gifts of money in red envelopes. No one else dare wear red at a Chinese wedding! And no one besides the bride should wear white to an American wedding is this author's opinion. Although I don't see a problem with non-white wedding gowns either. Anyway, I wouldn't go so far as to make up a cute little poem to include in the invite as a way of saving face if a couple IS asking for money....again, that draws attention to the expectation of gifts. If the couple does blow it and specifically asks for money in their invite, the guest need not be rude in return and gossip about the couple's preferences. If it's such a problem, don't go. Send a card.