So yesterday I tried making chocolate cupcakes with salted caramel frosting. I bought a cake mix and totally cheated on the cupcake part. But c'mon, it was Devil's Food extra moist. Don't be a food snob. So I made the icing from scratch. I put the sugar and water in a pan and got to giving my 3 year-old something to eat, giving the cats water, etc. Suddenly 7 minutes had gone by and the saucepan was full of smoke! I haven't burned anything in a while, so I wasn't sure what to do. I decided to let it cool and then proceed.
Dumb.
I added the milk and vanilla and stirred my little heart out. It wasn't creamy as the recipe said it should be. It was scary. The caramel was stuck to my non-stick Pampered Chef saucepan, and the milk coagulated into a strange and terrifying pudding. I dumped it out in the sink and vowed to being anew.
But the caramel wasn't budging. I poured hot water, let the pan sit, and scrubbed. Nope.
Put it back on the burner for a couple minutes. Nope.
I grab the scraper. Nope.
I roll up my sleeves on the cute blue and white ruffled blouse I'm wearing and really SCRAPE. Nope.
Finally I use the pot that boils water in two minutes (LOVE that thing btw) and pour boiling water on the stubborn caramel. SHAZAAM!
Now I can start over. At this point, like, an hour has gone by. Fortunately I left the unsalted butter sitting out on the counter so it was approaching room temperature as the recipe called for. Cooking is throwing ingredients with complementary tastes together, but baking requires precision: measuring, correct consistency, correct temperature of ingredients. Otherwise you can't bet on the results. So Rachel Ray can do "two times around the pan with EVOO" all she wants, but when she bakes a cake or bread I bet she busts out the measuring cups and spoons. Unless her cupped palm holds exactly 1/4 cup, and a tablespoon is what sits on her elbow with her arm held level (note to self: try this). I admit, I use my hands to measure things because I have the hands of a 10 year-old and they are exactly six inches from wrist to tip of my middle finger. But unless I'm rolling dough into a circle for scones, that doesn't really help.
Anyway, I get the caramel right this time (i.e. I don't burn it and have to turn on the fan and open the window and kitchen door) and add milk and vanilla. I obediently set that aside for 25 minutes until it's cool to the touch. It tastes much better than the first batch, may it rest in peace. I get the hand mixer because I don't have a stand mixer as it says to use. But I used whole milk instead of heavy cream, and table salt instead of fine salt. Baking is about precision unless you have to go to the store and you know which substitutions are okay. I have a lot of fun creaming the heck out of the butter until it's fluffy. I add powered sugar and salt, then pour in the caramel and blend the heck out of it. I'm a little uncertain. Like, first-time-walking-in-3-inch-heels uncertain. I taste it.
It's flippin' delicious.
I immediately grab one of the messed up, partially stuck to the pan cupcakes (there were 3 out of 18, proving I am not an Iron Chef) and frost it. I stand over the sink to eat since I just cleaned the kitchen floor that morning and I'm too lazy to get a plate. Do I hear angels singing? No wait, that's Dora singing about where she's going in this episode.
Maybe next time I'll tell more about my cooking and baking adventures.
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