A New Diet

     Yesterday I started a new diet, without realizing that that's how my day would play out. It's called the Root Canal Diet. It's very painful and annoying, yet requires absolutely zero time at the gym. It's pretty expensive compared to many diet plans, but insurance is usually willing to cover a chunk of the cost. You can be on the root canal diet as little as a week or as long as a month; if you hate going to the dentist and live on the edge you can stay on it much longer but there are very unpleasant side effects for those who go that route. 

     Monday I went to the dentist expecting to get a crown on my cracked back left molar (#18 apparently). She did some testing and realized she could not confidently proceed with the crown because she didn't think that was the tooth that was the source of my pain--it was the jerk molar next to it (#19). While #18 does indeed have a crack along the chewing surface and hitting it just right produces a weird feeling, '#19 has something going on under the filling' she said. She did tests, having me bite down on some plastic stick, and then she did what I call The Nasty Klondike Test. She uses some sort of dentist goo that feels painfully cold and tastes bad, and she applied it to several teeth, one at a time. The icy feeling hits instantly on healthy teeth. You raise your hand as soon as you can feel the awful sensation, and lower your hand once it's gone. It lasts about two seconds on healthy teeth. But I didn't have all healthy teeth. I had healthy teeth but also Cracky (#18) and Throbby (#19). I was referred to an endodontist and got an appointment the next day.

     I didn't think I had an issue with hot and cold on those back teeth until I had The Nasty Klondike Test. The pain hit about as fast as on the healthy teeth but it lingered. It took 5 seconds for the sharp pain to subside and there was an icy little stab that wasn't gone for another 20 seconds. She also did the Don't Eat It Gummy Bear Test, stick-biting test, and dental roll-chewing test. We'd found the source of my chewing pain and the cause of the aching and throbbing: Throbby, #19. I'd hoped it would be Cracky, because a crown isn't such a big deal. It sucks, but it isn't nearly as expensive and I've had one before. 

     Le sigh.

     The endodontist uses a microscope to get the tooth's pulp out and remove the nerve, and the cool/disturbing thing about this is that I could see my tooth clearly in the reflection of the lens of this microscope. So I watched as the dentist bore a big hole in my tooth. Fortunately they had the radio tuned to a good station, and I was tapping my toes to the music. They numbed me thoroughly, and I felt some pressure here and there and I could see what they were doing, but the actual root canal was fine.

    I got a hot fudge milkshake at Dairy Queen on the way home (I wasn't driving, and no drive-thru person could have understood my numb speech) and drank it awkwardly. I knew to pop Ibuprofen as soon as I got home (I'd taken two preemptively as well). I was sleepy since the stuff they use to numb crosses the blood-brain barrier and let's face it, even Midol puts me to sleep despite having caffeine in it. 

     And then the numbness wore off. 

     I have a bit of TMJ and I do grind a little in my sleep. Keeping my mouth open so wide for an hour and a half today (plus the time Monday at my regular dentist) had my jaw up to my temple throbbing. It was AWFUL. I did research to determine the cause of so much pain over the entire left side of my face and applied a heat pack once I found out that my TMJ was the reason for the pain. That helped. I was doing much better. 

     I took Ibuprofen PM when I went to bed so I could sleep. It worked except for one thing I'd forgotten about: grinding in my sleep. I don't have a night guard, and I regretted that around 2AM when I abruptly bit down in my sleep and the pain jolted me to consciousness! I fell asleep and it happened again around 5AM. Worried, I went downstairs for another Ibuprofen and a Root Beer Float yogurt (thank you, Yoplait, for helping me prevent ulcers during this experience as I pop Ibuprofen like it's candy). I did the bite-down-wake-up thing at least once more. So now I'm in the market for SOMETHING to protect Throbby until I get the permanent filling put in sometime next week at my regular dentist. 

     In the meantime, I have no desire to chew anything. I swear I've already lost a pound.