Jurassic Park

Okay, clearly the movie changed things from the book. And really there's no way to write this without some spoilers.

SPOILER ALERT: There are so many spoilers coming up.

So we find out right away that the dinosaurs have clearly found a way to get off their island, which is off the west coast of Costa Rica. Procompsognathus have been biting babies and kids, except folks on the mainland haven't figured out yet they're dinosaurs engineered by some nutty rich guy with a vision he hasn't thought through fully and but yet realized.

The nut is John Hammond. He figures out he can take blood from mosquitos that bit dinosaurs 65+ million years ago that have been preserved all this time in the sap of trees. These amber-encased bugs contain dinosaur DNA because apparently red blood cells carry DNA in avians (birds) but for a human you'd have to hunt down a rarer white blood cell. He even invites his grandkids to Jurassic park to show the scientists how safe it is and how certain he is that the park will be a huge hit. In the hour before his death, he curses his grandkids (not to their faces). Why? Keep reading.

Despite the gaggle of scientists, there are SO many problems with Isla Nublar. Dr. Ellie Stattler, a paleobotanist, immediately notices that poisonous ferns have been planted right next to the swimming pool. Yeah, they're authentic Jurassic ferns, but accidentally brushing up against those plants would make a person really sick. If someone inhales spores, they'd die.

Dr. Ian Malcolm is a mathematician and firm believer in Chaos Theory. He's been going around saying that Jurassic Park is a huge accident waiting to happen and he can prove it mathematically. I had some trouble following exactly what this character is talking about (his words are based on the work of James Gleick), but the point is we can't make something that's alive and expect to control it. We can't even totally control the environment if that living thing.

So why did John Hammond curse his grandkids? Because he couldn't control them. He was walking from the lodge to his bungalow and heard a T-Rex roar. There are two such beasts on Isla Nublar, so his panic is somewhat warranted. Despite the hellish problems the park has had over the weekend, he is on the other side of many electric fences from either T-Rex. But he forgets this. He panics, trips, and falls down a hill into a streambed, and breaks his ankle. He hears the roar again and realizes that his grandkids are playing in the control room; the T-Rex roar is being broadcast from park speakers. He spends over an hour trying to climb up the hill, calls for help, and then notices Procompsognathus (compys for short) are gathering around him. He's a crippled animal to these scavengers; an easy meal. He tries to fight but too easily, things he has created kill him. He created selfishly (to make money) and had knowledge, but no real wisdom.

Other failure to control the dinosaurs problems: all the dinosaurs created are female so that they can't breed 'in the wild' on the island. John Hammond's corporation even has plastic eggs in which to insert the embryos. The lighting, moisture, everything has been considered...except the frog DNA used to fill in the holes in the DNA sequences in 5 of the species came from frogs who are able to change gender when all the surrounding frogs are the same gender. Another problem is that no one seems to understand how the main power works. Yet another problem is that a selfish programmer is being paid to steal dinosaur embryos and smuggle them off the island to another bioengineering company. The traitor dies by the way, and his death is just awful.

Now compare John Hammond to God. Both created. Hammond and God created an environment for their created beings to hang out in, and they both created things with free will. Both are superior to their creations. Neither God nor Hammond needed to create anything but chose to create. Both wanted to be around what they created. That's where similarities end.

Hammond tries so hard to control his creation through electric fences, a lysine dependency that is only satisfied through daily tablets for the animals, moats, steel bars, thick glass, tranquilizers, shock sticks, and so on. You get the picture: he's like a tyrant over this island he has claimed. He enjoys his work and is proud of what he's made. But again, despite all the knowledge and information he has employed, he lacks true wisdom. He ignores some of the basic needs of his creatures, such as needing a higher percent of oxygen in the atmosphere.

God stopped at every step during Creation to notice that what he had made was "good". He made a beautiful garden with healthy fruits and vegetables to eat and put the animals and people he made in it. God cultivated a relationship with his creation. He even let the people be the stewards of the garden! He gave them the rules. They could live in the garden he made for them or they could go try to create their own abode. When they screwed up, God let them pay the consequences but never stopped loving them. He also offered his creation a continued relationship with him. His creation pains him with sin, but cannot kill him.

Remember that John Hammond is creating within God's creation. Is he pretending to know better than God? Is he trying to replace God?

Signs You're a Mature Adult

1: You're tempted to do yardwork at someone else's house.
2: Taking a shower helps you feel human again.
3: You chase your cat(s) onto the tiled floor when they're about to puke because it's easier to clean than the carpet or rug.
4: You cart around things like bug repellent, sunscreen, and Band-Aids just in case.
5: You sit in the house alone sometimes with no TV or music on, just for the peace and quiet.
6: You feel so much better after cleaning.
7: You clean when stressed or angry.
8: You largely dislike McDonald's.
9: Reality shows can't hold a candle to documentaries.
10: You know the book is better than the movie.
11: You take more than one pill a day.
12: You've ever thought that youth is wasted on the young.
13: You've said "I'm sorry" and truly meant it.
14: You know how to write thank you notes.
15: You aren't ashamed to ask for help.
16: You eat foods you don't like because they are good for you.
17: Caffeine moves from 'beverage' to 'food group'.
18: You can admit you're wrong without becoming defensive.
19: You research something just to learn about it.
20: You accept certain facts about yourself (I have curly hair. I'm finally okay with it).
21: You are trying to change your bad habits.
22: You've ever put someone else's needs ahead of your own.
23: You are certain you could survive at least a week without a cell phone and computer.
24: You know nostalgia isn't what it used to be ;)
25: You're tired of eating the same flavor all the time and try a new one.
26: "Sleeping in" means you get up no later than 9am.
27: You're certain the 80's weren't that long ago.
28: You're allowed to do the stuff you weren't allowed to do as a kid but no longer care (who wants to watch two movies in a row? And cake for breakfast = a stomachache by lunch).
29: You wish there was a rollover plan for all those naps you refused as a kid.
30: You get to play Sherlock Holmes a lot. Like when you enter a room (why did I come in here?) or need a household item (where on earth is the hammer? Who had it last?....)
31: You know your priorities and stick to them.
32: You know you don't have forever to do the things you want to do, so you don't put them off all the time.
33: You try to waste less.
34: You wish you had less waist.
35: You're psyched about getting an EZ Pass.

Inside and Out

     So I have been reading some books that get me thinking about character lately. One was the non-fiction Almost Amish and the other was the fictional novel The Help. A man on a flight from Charlotte to Cincinnati saw me reading the former and asked if I was writing a paper for school. I laughed and said I'm so done with school, I just like to read. Since the man was in his late 60's he was glad to hear this. I never got to reading on that flight because we spent the whole time chatting. It was very pleasant. He also laughed at my joke, "How does God refer to Himself? Me, Myself, and I AM."

     Anyway, Almost Amish is about a woman's desire to simplify her life, similar to the way the Amish live. There are actually 4 kinds of Amish; my favorite is the Beachy Amish because the name sounds like they are the sort to take a metal detector to the beach in the evening (the founder of that sect had the last name Beachy). So some can own a car, some have a little bit of electricity provided by a noisy generator, etc. They make the use of technology as annoying as possible so they don't want to use it. Obviously this is the opposite of most Americans. But simplification goes further than that: the author and her family left a sprawling house in Maine to move to a tiny town in Kentucky called Wilmore. I totally lived in Wilmore for 4 years!! But I didn't know about the author then (I think her name is Karen Sleeth. Her husband, Matthew, has written some books too. My library doesn't have them, maybe yours does). They cultivated a garden instead of a chemical-filled yard, moved into a much smaller house, and reduced, reused, and recycled. They thought about what they really needed versus what they could borrow. They didn't give in to impulse purchases. They even got on lists to reduce the junk mail they receive by like 90%. The author rides a bike most places (SPOILER ALERT: one time it was stolen because she hadn't thought to get a bike lock).

     In The Help, women in Mississippi in 1963 share stories about racism and the invisible lines we all draw between ourselves and others based on generalizations. The book is SO much better than the movie. Except for Shakespeare, that's almost always the case. Shakespeare I would rather see performed because reading it cures my insomnia. The black women are treated as inferior and sub-human by the white women they work for, while one of the white women is considered white trash, but no one tells her what is expected of her in Jackson, Mississippi society.

     So I thought about all the superficial junk we think about. Stuff we think we need, but it turns into an idol. We think we need the latest and greatest. We expect to get new stuff all the time. We don't know our neighbors next door because we're busy with our job, our hobbies, our vacations. One day I had just put cookies in the oven when my son and I went out to get the mail. The neighbor to the right was out doing yardwork, so I said hello. We ended up talking for probably 15 minutes. I went back inside and it immediately hit me: I burnt the cookies! Another time I was getting the mail and I saw the neighbor on our left out getting her mail. She didn't see me, so I called out hello. Later I was doing yardwork and she invited my son and me to swim with them in their pool. I thought that was awesome! It was hilarious to me that I'd burnt the cookies talking to the neighbor, I'd rather have the conversation than the calories.

     I think about all the stupid things I've purchased, especially when I was younger. I think about all the times I drove myself and my mom crazy griping that I had 'nothing to wear'. I remember my bad skin and frizzy hair made me very self-conscious. I was so shallow! I was worried about what I looked like and fretting because I wasn't a Claudia Schiffer look-alike. I should have been thinking about what type of person I wanted to BE. What I wanted to be known for beyond cute clothes for example. What causes did I value, what traits do I admire, how can I work on developing those traits in myself. I suspect many of us have realized this as we age.

    Now, I wasn't totally shallow. I did Girl Scouts and 4-H and got involved at my church. I read a lot (no romance novels) and I did well in school. Junior year of high school, I stepped between my boyfriend at the time and a freshman I didn't know because boyfriend wanted to beat up freshman for some stupid reason. I told boyfriend it was stupid and I wasn't going to let it happen. But what about the times kids were being made fun of and I said nothing? I was made fun of too, all through high school. I would've loved for someone to say "so she has frizzy hair, so what? get a life" in my defense when boys threw balls of paper so they'd stick in my hair.

    So what? I wanted an advocate. Now I know better how to be one for others. I wanted encouragement and confidence and someone to lean on. Other people want those things too and I can help them out that way. I want a break from the daily grind sometimes and the chance to give someone else a break. I don't want to be boring, but I usually try to play it safe. Life is a journey, and journeys are supposed to be exciting!    I can't be the person I want to be and develop the traits I admire in others without stepping out and stepping up to the plate. I've wasted so much energy and time in my life worrying. "I wish I had worried more" said no one ever.

Come, Holy Spirit, come!!

Weird Myths that Persist

I'm thinking about truth.

For some reason we believe things that aren't true. Here is a sampling of things that are widely believed, yet are definitely not true:

Myth: Hair that's shaved off grows back thicker and darker.
Truth: Hair that is shaved only appears thicker and darker because the blunt end of the hair is seen opening the skin follicle. In plain English, it's an optical illusion. How do we know? I have blonde hair and I've been shaving my legs for ~20 years. My leg hair is still blonde, it's not thicker and darker. And balding men would fix their balding problem by shaving their head several times.

Myth: Trimming your ends helps your hair grow faster.
Truth: Your hair doesn't grow from your ends, it grows from your head. That's why they're called your roots--it's where the growth comes from. If you dye your hair you find you have to touch-up your roots because they are growing out. Trimming your ends only makes your hair look healthier overall.

Myth: It is illegal to pick bluebonnets in Texas.
Truth: You can legally pick bluebonnets in Texas, but you cannot trespass or block traffic or run around drunk or naked in order to do so, because those things are already illegal.

Why does it matter? What difference does it make knowing things like this? Too often people think there is no such thing as truth anymore, like everything is subjective. "MY hair grows better when I trim the ends..." and "I don't have anger issues. YOU just drive me nuts." But there are absolute truths. It's really difficult to stand by and watch someone continue to follow something that isn't true. I'm not talking about hair or bluebonnets here, but addictions and the like. When you know what's really going on in a situation it's so hard to not preach to the person hung up on the lie.

This is one of the things I struggle with. The art of shutting up. The art of looking at the fine line between lovingly telling someone something they need to hear and going overboard trying to run that person's life. And people do this to me. That's another (not so bad) struggle: how to gently tell them they have crossed the line and they need to back off right now.

Truth isn't something that's found within us, otherwise it would be different for each person. Yeah, we totally have our own preferences, and that's awesome. We're not supposed to all be the same exactly. We can express Truth in different ways. That sounds weird, so here are some examples: Christian denominations. Frankly, I don't agree with everything that other denominations do/believe. But the Baptists rock at evangelism (NOT Westboro Baptist. I pray they sit down and strongly rethink the hate messages they continue to send. That's just one church, not a denomination or religion). Roman Catholics are awesome at outreach. United Methodists are deeply compassionate and full of ideas that bring glory to God.

Another example: we need to take care of the earth, regardless of global warming being a myth or documented. No matter why the earth goes through climate changes, we still need to take care of it. Some people choose to reduce, reuse, recycle. Some choose products that aren't damaging to the earth (like using vinegar and baking soda instead of Raid for their indoor ant problem). Some people bike or walk as often as possible, drive a hybrid, or limit how much electricity they use.

Now here's another (and please, nobody start preaching, just yell Amen!): love your neighbor. Love doesn't mean enable. Love doesn't mean become a doormat for your neighbor. Love doesn't mean you agree with everything your neighbor says or does. Love is being patient, kind, self-controlled. We all have something in common: deep down, we all believe that we are above-average drivers. Oh, wait. Deep down, all of us need to be loved and love in return.

I'm gonna rip off The Help here.
You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.

Those things are also true. HOW kind, smart, and important you are is up to you. If you are kind and smart, you are quite likely to also be important. You're probably important to a few people anyway--your family. Even if you're driving them crazy, they still put value on you that other people don't.

So I'm gonna try to focus on myself in that I'm making sure I am kind and doing smart things, keeping promises, and not biting people's heads off when they have a different opinion than me. I'm gonna focus on the truth, what's important. Bashing others takes away time and energy I could be spending on improving myself.

P.S. I totally crossed another item off my bucket list (take my son to the beach). Yeah!

Yuma, AZ

Things I Can and Cannot do in Yuma, Arizona in June

Can: Get a tan like Domino's delivers pizza: in 30 minutes or less.
Can't: get used to the heat or the time difference from EST in less than a week.

Can: Stop and smell the roses
Can't: Figure out what that weird bird is.

Can: Become obsessed with Mr. G's burritos.
Can't: Stop thinking about opening a Mr. G's in Maryland/Delaware.

Can: Be grateful for air conditioning.
Can't: take a cold shower. It's like when the hose has been laying in the sun.

Can: Fly to Yuma with roughly 5 pounds of toiletries in my carry-on bag on 4 difference flights with no one at any airport ever saying a thing.
Can't: Fly out of Yuma with the above 5 pounds of toiletries without getting bag searched and security thinking I'm high maintenance.

Can: see family I haven't seen in years.
Can't: deny we're related or pretend I don't know them at Golden Corral.


Can: see a cactus taller than myself.
Can't: Walk outside barefoot.


Can: drink too much caffeine.
Can't: Drink enough water.

Can: Sit on the patio in the shade and chat/dominate conversation.
Can't: actually cook an egg on the pavement such that it's safe for consumption.

Can: See big (to me) dogs and they get used to me.
Can't: Convince them I don't need dog slobber on me and no they can't have some of this donut.

Can: go to my grandma's viewing.
Can't: Make the lump in my throat go away or forget her.

My Bucket List

So I read a (heartbreaking) story about a baby born with SMA named Avery. At birth her parents were told she had 18 months to live tops. So they made her a bucket list. It included things like 'draw on the walls', 'have a tea party', and 'celebrate my half birthday'. She died at the end of April, just after her half birthday. But it got me thinking: why do we wait until we have an obvious expiration date to decide what we really want to do? We need to start sooner, people! We gotta start while we're young enough and healthy enough to do this stuff. 

So here's what I have so far on my bucket list.

Skydive (tandem jump) May 31, 2014! 
Go to the movies alone (it's a confidence thing)
Get highlights in my hair 7/11/2013 I got copperish-red lowlights  & 5/22/14 highlights!
Go on a hot-air balloon ride (maybe wearing Depends)
Take my son to the beach (June 29, 2012)
Go canoeing or kayaking (as a rower, I was in a canoe as a little girl but don't remember it)
Go to Hawaii or somewhere tropical (with a pound of bug repellent) for vacation
Go to the National Archives (9/28/2012)
Go to the National Cathedral
Go to the Jefferson, Washington, and Lincoln monuments(9/28/2012)
Go to the Holocaust museum (9/27/1012)
Tour the White House (10/2/2012)
Go to Italy (scheduled for March, 2015!!)
Go to Germany and see Schloss Neuschwannstein (that's the castle on which they based Sleeping Beauty's castle)
Shoot a handgun at a shooting range (August 15, 2013)
Learn how to climb a tree (this is influenced by the Hunger Games books)
Do archery again (
Make my own clotted cream (because homemade whipped cream is NOT the same thing)
Paint a room (May 28, 2012)
Jog a mile
Get a facial (9/7/2012)
Plant a tree
Have a garden that doesn't consist of weeds (I planted Sweet William and a begonia just the other day! They aren't dead yet!)
Take dance lessons (like ballroom)
Do a backbend and/or the splits (I have this thing about being somewhat in shape)
Buy a lottery ticket (won $5 today on my annual birthday lottery ticket!--May 28, 2012) (Won $25 on my 32nd birthday ticket 5/28/2013)
Learn about spiders and snakes (because knowledge is power and they both scare the dickens outta me)
Polar Bear Plunge! January 4, 2014, the ocean was 40 degrees!

I know I will continue to add to this list (because as of today, I'm only 31) as I cross things off and think of new stuff and my tastes change. The list consists of things that are huge deal things and more mundane stuff, obviously, because marking little things off the list helps me feel I'm accomplishing things. Whenever I make a to-do list I like to include ridiculously easy things or even something I've already done, just for the satisfaction of crossing that item off the list. It's like building up momentum.

So here I go.

Good Idea, Bad Idea

These are some tips I've picked up, some I learned the hard way:

Good Idea: Using Icy Hot after a strenuous workout session.
Bad Idea: Mixing up the tube of Icy Hot with a tube of anything else.


Good Idea: Plucking stray eyebrows.
Bad Idea: Over-plucking eyebrows. They are very sensitive and if they feel you don't want them there, they will never come back. EVER.


Good Idea: Buying products suited to your hair type/skin type.
Bad Idea: Forgetting where you put them.


Good Idea: Cleaning with bleach and/or vinegar to get a deep clean.
Bad Idea: Doing your cleaning while wearing clothes you want to wear in public ever again and without rubber gloves.


Good Idea: Relaxing while reading a good book.
Bad Idea: Reading right before bed when you just can't put the book down. You'll finish in record time but lose sleep and dream about the book (anyone else having Hunger Games dreams? No? Just me, then?)


Good Idea: Going outside and lounging to enjoy the gorgeous weather while wearing SPF 30+.
Bad Idea: Falling asleep and getting a really, really uneven tan.


Good Idea: Playing Wii Fit.
Bad Idea: Playing Wii Fit when your pets are being needy and you have little kids running around. You don't get extra points for trying to concentrate amid the chaos; the trainer will think you have the balance of someone with a stomach virus and an inner-ear infection and you will have a very low score.


Good Idea: Sleeping on your back so you don't add wrinkles to your face by smashing your face into your pillow.
Bad Idea: Sleeping on your back while a pet sleeps on your face.


Good Idea: Vacuuming.
Bad Idea: Vacuuming when you're missing an earring or assembling a puzzle with a LOT of pieces.


Good Idea: Painting your nails red to add a pop of color and some spice to your look.
Bad Idea: Failing to fix mistakes. People will think you were just in a horrible fight.


Good Idea: Exfoliating in the shower with a mixture of cornmeal and honey, then soaping up and rinsing as usual.
Bad Idea: Doing the above when you have an ant problem.